A Letter to Mom

The day before my mom’s birthday I spent at the house, cleaning and attempting to write her a letter. It took some time, and I had to keep putting it down and coming back to it, but it was important for me to write. Whenever a family member had died my mom always made me write a letter to them, telling them everything I never had the chance to. Fortunately I was able to tell my mom everything I wanted before she passed, and she was able to share with me everything she wanted as well, so I never felt the need to write her a letter. However, as her birthday approached, she was in my thoughts more than usual and I felt it time to write to her. Though it was difficult, it was a good experience and I realize now something I need to do more often. I have decided to share my letter with you, both for myself, but also for her and her memory. I hope that those of you reading this who knew her will in your own way take a moment to let her know once again how special she is and keep her memory alive…
Dear Mom,
As your birthday gets closer and closer I think of you more and more. It’s hard for me to believe that ten months have already passed since you left this world and not a day goes by that I don’t miss you, think of you, and wish to talk to you. From time to time I have dreams about being with you and when I wake up it always takes a while for it to register that you are no longer with me, and that it was only a dream. I have spent the last four months travelling the world and have seen so many wonderful things. All of which would not be possible had you not sacrificed so much and worked so hard to make sure Clem and I had the best life possible. You didn’t always feel it or know it, but there was never a moment that I didn’t feel or think that you were anything short of the most amazing mother and woman in the world. So much of you lives on in me, and I can only hope to one day be as amazing as you. I am thankful for the close relationship we always had, and that you were always there for me not only as a mother, but also as a friend. You were always there to celebrate my successes, pick me up when I fell short, to reassure me when I was down, to comfort me and make me smile when I couldn’t find one on my own, and above all, you were always my anchor. In you I always found strength when I was weak, laughter amongst the tears, and love. Always love. As I travel and continue to grow and learn about myself, I find more and more how much of you is in me. It is through this that I hope to show the world how special you were. All throughout my journeys people tell me that I have a wonderful smile, and I am always so happy to tell that my smile is yours. So today, my gift to you is this… though the tears are falling and my heart is heavy I will continue to smile and always know that you are smiling with me. Happy Birthday!
With All My Heart,
Nick