A Letter To Dad

Dear Dad,

I’m sitting on a train from Prague to Berlin and thought that it is about time that I send you a letter. I can’t believe that I have been gone over seven months already. Sometimes it feels like yesterday that you were dropping me off at the airport and at others it seems like years ago. I am glad that we have been able to keep in touch since I’ve been gone. Being able to skype and send messages on facebook really makes it easy when I miss you the most. However, I think that because I can call you and communicate with you so easily I haven’t really felt the need to tell you what is going on in my heart. One of those things I guess we all just take for granted sometimes. So, I’m reading this book right now called, “The Art of Racing in the Rain” and had to put it down because I looked like a fool crying on the train so hard. The book deals with death and family, and was just a little too much for me to handle at the moment. But as I sat there thinking after setting the book down I remembered how fortunate I was to have the time with mom that I did before she died, and how special it was that I was able to tell her everything I wanted to say. Not that you are going anywhere anytime soon, but I just wanted to take this moment to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you, and how much I am looking forward to spending time with you when I get home. So here it goes… I love you! Not in the just saying it because that’s what we say kind of way, but in the, with everything I have and from the bottom of my heart kind of way. I appreciate all that you have done for me throughout my life, but more than anything you have ever done for me, I appreciate what you have become for me. Over the past ten or twelve years I feel that our relationship has really grown and become something that I feel very special and blessed to have in my life. I know that it has not always been easy and that is what makes it so special. I have seen you grow, and step out of your comfort zone to be there for me, when maybe it doesn’t come naturally for you, and that means more to me words could ever express. I want you to know that I look back on all those vacations and little trips we made together throughout the years, whether it be the week long trips fishing in the Sierras, weekends here and there, birthday Vegas trips, or just a day to the lake, and feel lucky to have been able to spend that time with you. As we get older and our relationship continues to grow and evolve, I am happy to get to know the person you truly are, and more than this, I am proud to call you dad (well sometimes pop or old man as well). Thank you so much for supporting me on this journey. I have to admit I was really nervous to tell you when I made the decision to leave because I thought you may think it a bad idea, a waste of money, irresponsible, and things along those lines, but you were supportive from the start. I would like to think that that is a result of our strengthened relationship and trust that we have built. Well, let me tell you this is by far one of the best experiences of my life and I have grown and learned so much about myself in this time away. I am a better person for having had this experience and you and your support has been a big part of that. I am very proud of the person I am, and I would not be who I am without you. I see the way you talk about me with your friends and even with the family and I see that you are proud of me and I just hope that you know that you are a part of who I am. So let me end this letter with this… thank you! Thank you for always being there. Thank you for accepting my challenge and holding up your end of the bargain as best you could. I know that you are sorry for the times you have fell short and I hope you know that I am sorry for the times that I fell short as well. I know that I have not been the easiest child to raise, and at times you were not the easiest father to have, but we would not be where we are today if we had not travelled the roads we have to get here, and to be honest I would not change a thing. I love you dad, and can’t wait to get home and give you a hug.

With Everything I Have,
Nick